Annoying Orange: Comedy Clubbing

Marty Meatball: Boy, oh, boy, let me tell you about my ex-wife. My ex-wife wanted to be an actress, but I tell you, she’s so ugly, she couldn’t even get a part in a hot dog. [rimshot] Hey-oh!

Pear: Man, this is so exciting, I’ve been dying to come to this comedy club.

Midget Apple: Yeah, me too.

Orange: Whoa, Midget Apple.

Midget Apple: That’s Little Apple!

Orange: What are you doing back there?

Midget Apple: I’m trying to watch the show, but you’re blocking my view.

Orange: Maybe that’s why they call it “stand-up.” [both laugh]

Midget Apple: [groans]

Marty Meatball: She’s stupid, too. You wanna know how stupid? She thought a sirloin was a knight. [rimshot] Ho!

Orange: Was that supposed to be funny?

Pear: Just give him a chance, okay?

Marty Meatball: Oh, is she a lousy driver. Just last week, she T-boned my car. [rimshot] [crickets chirp]

Orange: I don’t know why we had to come to this place to laugh. I’m way funnier than this meatball.

Marty Meatball: Hey, doo-da-dip, zip the lip.

Orange: Hey, do-da-daff, make me laugh. [laughs]

Pear: Dude, knock it off. Now he’s gonna pick on us.

Marty Meatball: All right, looks like we got another comedian here, folks. What’s your name, huh? Bozo. [rimshot] He-he-hey!

Orange: I’m not Bozo, I’m an orange.

Marty Meatball: Well, thanks a lot, Captain Obvious. [rimshot] No problem, Major Meatball. [laughs] Oh, so you wanna see a joke, huh? Quick, somebody get this guy a mirror. [rimshot] Hey-heeey!

Orange: Really? That’s all you got?

Marty Meatball: And what about your little buddy there?

Midget Apple: That’s Little Apple!

Marty Meatball: Not you, munchkin. The other guy.

Pear: Whoa-whoa-whoa, leave me out of this.

Marty Meatball: Boy, does this guy need some exercise. He’s looking a little pear-shaped. [rimshot]

Pear: Dude, I am a pear.

Marty Meatball: Yeah, a pair of jokers. [rimshot] Ho-ho!

Orange: Wow, did you ever notice that Meatball’s a real ham-burger? [rimshot, laughs]

Marty Meatball: Orange, you are so stupid, you thought photosynthesis had something to do with a camera. [rimshot]

Orange: Yeah, well you’re so dumb, you tried to go fishing in a gravy boat. [rimshot, laughs]

Midget Apple: [groans] Can we go home now?

Orange: What? You guys don’t wanna leave already, do you?

Pear and Midget Apple: Yes.

Marty Meatball: Why don’t you make like a hockey stick and get the puck out of here? [rimshot]

Orange: But I’m totally winning. This guy’s dead meat. [rimshot, laughs]

Marty Meatball: Oh whatever, Orange. I’m the one “rinding” you down. [rimshot] He-hey!

Orange: Hey, hey Meatball.

Marty Meatball: What?

Orange: Hey, can I call you Chuck?

Marty Meatball: Uh… okay.

Orange: Hey, Chuck! Hey, hey Chuck!

Marty Meatball: What do you want now?

Orange: Guess what?

Marty Meatball: What?

Orange: Spatula.

Marty Meatball: Wha– [yelling] (Daneboe gets crushed by Spatula)

Pear, Midget Apple and Orange: Whoa! ​​[Meatball groaning]

Orange: Talk about a “patty” pooper. [rimshot, laughs] [groaning continues]

Pear: Ooh!

Orange: What’s that? I can’t hear you. Your delivery’s a little “flat.” [rimshot, laughs] [Meatball screams]

Midget Apple: Ouch, that looked like it hurt.

Pear: Geez, all I wanted to do was laugh. What a letdown.

Midget Apple: I’ll say. I’ve been staring at Orange’s butt all night.

Orange: Aw, poor Meatball. His show really got “panned.” [rimshot] [everyone laughs] I guess Marty Meatball was all sizzle and no steak. [rimshot] [everyone laughs] Can you guys believe he had a “beef” with me? [rimshot] [everyone laughs]

Midget Apple: Yeah, Spatula’s all like, “Can me have a cheeseburger?” [everyone pauses with silence and crickets chirp] [record scratches] [everyone laughs] [rimshot]

Orange: Hey, hey Midget Apple. You should tell another one of your short jokes.

Midget Apple: That’s little joke!